Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
