I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
