i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize