Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Randomize
