sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
