Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
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I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
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You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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