All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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