The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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