so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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