So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she looked like the before picture.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
