Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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