Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
