Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
