Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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