in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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