I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
