whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
