You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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