Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
