your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Randomize
