The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
