i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
