bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
