he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Dick very happy bro
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