man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize