If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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