see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
