My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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