ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
