i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I am mentally ready for anal.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
