yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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