I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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