I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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