I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize