he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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