Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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