the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
