Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
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He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
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He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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