my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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