So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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