I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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