So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
