Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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