isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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