he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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