I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
