Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
