yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize