Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Everything about him screamed your future.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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