Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
