I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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