Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize