question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
