I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
