I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize