It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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