I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
