Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
