shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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