I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
you had me at cake vodka
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
