I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
