Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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