There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
