worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize