somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
