Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
